Previously from The
Parishioner: I re-analyze the happenings in the Garden of Eden and turn
Original Sin into Original Blessing…BOOM.
“ ’Simon, son of John, do you love me?’ He said
to him, ‘Yes Lord you know that I love you.’ ” John 21:15
Peter is the fall guy, the one who gets it wrong again and
again. Walking across the water he has second thoughts and starts to sink He’s
embarrassed to have Jesus wash his feet. He can’t accept the coming of Calvary.
He denies he ever knew Jesus – three times. And then there is that shocking faux pas at the Transfiguration. Did the
Gospel writers set Peter up to show us how wrong yet redeemable it’s possible
to be? Is the whole point of Peter for Sunday School kids to practice their eye
rolling?
Jesus picked this very earth-bound disciple for a reason and
it was clearly not for his mystical powers or his grasp of divine imperatives.
He picked Peter because Peter had great love, love so large that he blundered
into impetuous assertions and actions, the way that lovers do. A careful person
like me marvels at such love. Even kneeling before Jesus, I wonder what is the
received form of prayer, how is one expected to worship him, what should I be
thinking/feeling?
So I have learned a thing or two from Peter. This mad,
impetuous fool for Christ has taught me that I can be all in. that I can lavish
my love on Jesus, that if I want to beg to understand something or be heard at
all, I can beg; that if I want to love him with all my heart and all my mind
and all my soul and all my strength, I can go right ahead and do it.
Because Jesus singled him out and because of his
post-Pentecost work, Peter enjoys considerable standing in our faith today. I
have stood in St Peter’s Square and nothing is quite so awesome. Peter is grand
now. He stands at the gates of heaven welcoming the faithful. I want this to be
more than an image, or a tradition though. I want it to be true. I want to see
Peter noting each new arrival, looking them up in his book, sighing and
mumbling, looking up over his glasses to make sure he has the right one.
When he sees me, he knows me. He understands my history and
my extremes. It’s all in his book. He knows how close I came to deep sin and
despair. He thinks I was lucky and he’s right. He understands my falseness when
it was taken to be true and my truth when it was taken to be false. He knows
he’s going to unlock the pearly gates for me but he wants to make me sweat a
little first. He shows me my marks in his book, all my stupid stuff.
I try to get on his good side by mentioning all the holy
people that I've known but he sees through that right away. I tell him how I've longed for God all my life, how I was picked to crown the Blessed Mother in the
May Procession in second grade, how I
prayed for my enemies, tried not to hate, tried not to judge. I know that all
he has to do is take up that huge key hanging from his belt and open the gates,
but I am loving this moment, loving his undivided attention. This hero of mine.
It’s a very human moment, a very earthly one. Who else but Peter could do this
job so well?
Next time from The Parishioner...I match wits with a five year old.
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