The True Self

When Shakespeare had Polonius say “to thine own self be true” he was not talking about the true self. He was talking about the made self that works best for you.  When we describe Horatio Alger as a self-made man, we are not talking about the making of his true self by himself.

The true self is not made by us. It is made by God.

Let’s back up. To be true to your self is to be authentic to the person that you have become, are becoming, want most to become. You want to be a kind person so you practice kindness. You strive to be honest so you make very sure to tell the truth at all times.

As a trivial example, a few years ago I decided to stop swearing. I have nothing against swearing and am often amused by it. But it didn’t feel like me. Just as wearing those chunky necklaces that were popular a few years ago didn’t feel like me. So I quit swearing and it has worked out well. I feel more like myself, less like someone adopting a behavior that doesn’t fit. But this has nothing to do with my true self. It is, rather, my shedding of part of a false self.

I used to think that my true self was simply me without my faults. Certainly, I was not created to be prideful, impatient, judgmental, but even if I were to somehow manage to rid myself of all my failings, escape from my false self, I would not, by doing so, see my true self.

Like everyone else, I was created by God. I am known by him both as a unique individual and as a part of collective humanity. Jesus was made man on this earth with the purpose of redeeming all of us, again both individually and collectively. Moreover, the Holy Spirit indwells in me just as in everyone else. I am known by the Holy Spirit, sanctified by the Holy Spirit as an individual and as part of collective humanity.

It is this created, redeemed and sanctified self that is my true self. This true self is what I have to seek and find and be in my life.

Of course we all live in a material world and we need to navigate it. We need items; we need activities, relationships. We have physical bodies that need care. I add all these things to my true self. I have a way of looking, dressing, speaking. I have things that I choose to do, people I choose to know.

All these additions can be “good” in every sense of the word. I can volunteer at a food shelf. I can be a helpful neighbor, a gentle mother or daughter. I can worship faithfully each Sunday, shop responsibly and spread the love of God wherever I go.

But none of these additions are my true self. Any of them can go away from me and I am still that created, redeemed, sanctified person that God knows and loves so well.

We have to distinguish what we do from what God does. Our additions are our own work. We need these additions, but we can’t think that any one of them is necessary to our union with God. This is good news because one day I might no longer be able to worship with my church community. I might lose my family, my importance in the world. In fact, ultimately, I will lose it - all of it. But I will still be my true created, redeemed and sanctified self.

The true self is you (or me) stripped bare of any additions, like a tree in winter. No ego. No hobbies. No accomplishments. Not even any good works. It relies on nothing but God. In creating us, God sent us off with the simple purpose of bringing us back home. Our truest happiness our deepest longing is for God. The work we do in this life to attain that union, and God’s work is to bring this about.

The true self is entirely dependent on God. This dependence, which is many magnitudes greater than any earthly dependence we might think we have, is a bit scary. But don’t be afraid. When all the additions go and there is nothing of our own doing left, the true self is there with God. 

Next week - Mary