Jesus Saves

My favorite form of prayer is lectio divina. Literally “divine reading” the practitioner prayerfully reads a portion of Scripture, meditates on its meaning, prays with it and finally brings it into his or her own being. In this prayer, portions of the Bible that I thought I understood perfectly open to me in new and startling ways. Characters whom I thought I had analyzed to perfection suddenly present a different face.  Even Jesus will sometimes seem impossibly different.

Most recently, I've been praying with Matthew 14:22-33, the story of Jesus walking out to the apostles on water. The apostles are not expecting him (a lesson in itself there) and think he might be a ghost. He identifies himself, calming their fears (another lesson). Entire papers have been written on the “fear not” theme in scripture. Basically, don’t be afraid. Ever.

Peter, a study in impulsivity, tells Jesus to, if it’s really him, command him come to him across the water. Jesus simply says “Come.” I can almost hear the sigh in Jesus’ voice as he says this. “Come if you must but we both know how this is going to end.” Sure enough, Peter glides magnificently over the water but then suddenly realizes that the weather is bad and the water is deep. He starts sinking, begs for Jesus to help him. Jesus reaches out, grabs his elbow (or so I imagine) and rights him.

It’s easy to see Peter as the buffoon here. It’s easy to see Jesus as the eye-rolling master of patient forbearance. “Why did you doubt?” asks Jesus. “Because I’m human and full of doubts,” I want Peter to answer, “because you are too wonderful for me. Because even though I want nothing more than to understand you and believe in you, I’m too caught up in my own flaws to see that you've given me the power to do anything.”

I grew up with lots of religious instruction. This story was framed as an example for us children. The lessons were as follows:

• Jesus is perfect. Do whatever he says.
• Don’t be a show off.
• Jesus might make a fool of you, even when you grow up, so be careful.
• Peter committed every sin in the book and was caught out every time. So watch out.
• Jesus doesn't like people who don’t have enough faith.

In lectio, I find the story to be very different. What does Peter want? He wants to do what Jesus is doing. He wants to be like him. He is desperate to learn everything about Jesus that he can, in any way he can. What is so wrong with being a little reckless when it comes to Jesus? If we feel moved to associate with the “other”, if we think we should spend time with sick people, or tell those in authority how we feel about their activities, is that a bad thing? What if we find ourselves loving our neighbor, or forgiving someone who has wronged us? Any of these can be as risky as walking across a stormy sea.

And Jesus? He wants Peter to come out of the boat, even knowing he’ll fail and fall. Yes, even knowing he will fail and fall. Can this be true for us as well? Could Jesus actually appear in our lives, unexpectedly, of course, nudging us toward something strange and new? If so, the story tells us that he’ll be there to catch us when we fail and fall.

If we are so apt to bungle our assignments, what is the point of Jesus’ making them in the first place? Why would he beckon us out onto the water, only to have to rescue us? Does Jesus actually want this seemingly pointless dance? I believe he does.

Remember, Jesus is in the rescue business. He rescued all of creation. Now and then and always, he will rescue us. He will point us in a direction. We’ll stream forward or fall horribly. It doesn't matter. He’s got us.

I've learned not to judge characters in the Bible. They are too familiar, too human. At Easter Vigil a young parishioner read the long story of the Israelites crossing the Red Sea. She read it magnificently; I could see every one of them, crossing in fear, buzzing with adrenalin. But I could also see the chariots and the chariot drivers. Scared out of their minds. Following orders. Every one of them important to somebody.  Jesus died for these ones, too, just as for Peter and for you and for me. Enemies or friends, fools or sages, it’s all the same to Jesus.

Peter was saved from the waters that night but he wasn't saved from death forever. One day he had his belt fastened to him and he had to go where he did not want to go.  (See John 21:18) Did he go fearlessly? Did he doubt yet again? Or did he see Jesus beside him, reaching for his elbow? Either way.....